This week I became involved in a case that involves one of the saddest situations I see as a family lawyer, Parental Alienation. This is where one parent uses their privilege and duties as a custodial parent to manipulate children's relationship with the other parent. Over the years I have handled several cases with varying degrees of manipulation. The manipulation varies in each case from as little as denying communication between visits to full on denial of child's time with the other parent. The reasons given by the custodial parents vary as well. Some just lack the ability to cooperate with their former spouse while others feel that they are protecting the children from some perceived wrong done by the non-custodial parent. The one thing that is consistent in all of these cases is that the purpose of the custodial parent in the alienation is to alter how the children feel about the other parent. In other words, they hate their ex more than they love their children.
Psychologists have recognized this behavior and have categorized it as Parental Alienation Syndrome and it has devastating effects on the entire family. The custodial parent that is alienating obviously has unresolved issues from the divorce that prevents them from co-parenting with their ex-spouse. Younger children suffer in that they have to cope with the loss of a parent while older children have to walk through an emotional minefield trying to hide their feelings for one parent from the parent they live with. The non-custodial parent has to deal with the anger, frustration and even depression that results from watching the relationship with their child. While counseling can help, it usually requires Court intervention.
In recent years, the Courts have been very responsive to dealing with Parental Alienation. After years of hearing testimony from parents, psychologists and even children as well as specialized training, today's judge can spot alienation and have taken some drastic measures to put an end to it. These measures include jailing for contempt, expanded parenting time for non-custodial parents and even changing custody temporarily or permanently. With the help of a skilled lawyer, an alienated parent can get help and the tools they need to restore and maintain a relationship with their children.
